5 Ways to Ensure Success

In the month of March, our little book club read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. The book was incredibly rich with suggestions regarding how to be successful in relationships, business interactions, and everyday communications. At first, I was so nervous to read this book. It seemed too daunting to potentially change the way I communicate with people and possibly feel like I couldn’t change, even if I wanted to.

Even though I had those initial concerns, I am so glad I read this book! It was enlightening, and allowedย me to set goals for myself that weren’t too daunting. If you want to ensure that you’re successful in your relationships, business interactions, and everyday communications, take a look at these five points:

Be enthusiastic.

If you want to be successful, you need to be able to win people over to your way of thinking. What better way to do that than sharing your excitement and passion? This requires no manipulation or coercion on your part, it just requires your dedication and confidence in your cause. Enthusiasm makes people pay attention. It motivates them to look into your product, business, or friendship and assume that it is worthwhile. Why else would you be so enthusiastic about it?

I think this point can be especially applicable to those of you trying to start businesses and blogs. My guess is that you’ve noticed how difficult it is to get reach the audience you want, and even when you do, how to keep them interested. You certainly need to do your part and offer a great product or service, but being enthusiastic will get your foot in the door until your product can speak for itself.

Listen and be interested.

I’ve found that the best mentors, friends, and colleagues have a knack for making us feel empowered after having a conversation with them. How do they do that? One thing they undoubtedly do is listen wholeheartedly and actually take interest in what you’re saying. I think we can all agree that when we’re listened to and empathized with we feel valued and important.

I realized the importance of this principle last week when buying a new car. The first dealership we went to had a great car that I was super interested in, but it was a little out of my price range. As I talked with the dealer, he was set on his original price and would not bend at all even though there was a dent in one of the doors and the interior hadn’t been detailed. The next dealer I went to spent time getting to know me and what I was looking for in a car. He suggested multiple cars in my price range and have me both advantages and disadvantages, including how it would be able to drive across the country. This was particularly important to me since I’ll be moving this summer.

Obviously I bought a car from the second dealer, because he listened and took interest in what was important to me.

 

Be agreeable.

This is a tough one for me sometimes. Most of us, even if we’re generally kind people, have an unfortunate first instinct… Which is to be disagreeable and defensive. Since this is the case, we need to try our best to think before we speak. Mind-blowing, I know. This can be especially difficult when we have completely different views from the person we’re talking to. Here are a couple tips for staying agreeable

  1. Avoid criticism. This is the exact opposite of being agreeable! When trying to win someone over to your way of thinking, you want them to know that you value them and appreciate the work they do.
  2. Focus on the things you do agree on…ย and reinforce those points often. Even if you disagree on some points, bringing up the points on which you agree will help you come off as the reasonable person you are.
  3. Don’t be a downer. People want to be happy, so give them a pleasant conversation that leaves them in a better mood than you found them in.

Give Praise.

In addition to being enthusiastic, agreeable, interested, and a great listener, it’s important to give praise to others. Make sure when you give compliments that you’re being sincere. Sincere praise makes people feel valued and reinforces to them that their efforts are acknowledged and appreciated.

This is a great tip for being successful in any kind of communication, even in problematic situations. For example, if you have a family member or employee that consistently has behavior problem of performs poorly, it could be beneficial to praise the things you see them do well. This will give them a desire to improve, because they will see that they can! Praising them every step of the way, even with slight improvements, and remembering not to criticize will improve help you be a more successful communicator.

It’s about them.

This point seems to go without saying, but try not to make the conversation about you. Don’t brag about your accomplishments or vent about your problems. Everyone has accomplishments they want to talk about, and everyone has burdens… And their accomplishments and burdens are much more interesting to them than yours. This may sound harsh, but it’s so true! People will get bored with you very fast if you spend the whole conversation trying to make yourself seem important. Your job, instead, should be to make THEM feel important.

Let me know how these tips go for you! Try to set some specific goals and see if your success in relationships, business interactions, and everyday communications improve. Please feel free to join our book club in April! We’ll be reading Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps by Barbara and Allan Pease. Stay tuned for the official April book club post coming soon.

Makayla

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16 Comments

  1. Excellent post !
    I listened to the audiobook version of this. So much information and knowledge to learn from.
    Communication is an art as well as a science.
    Dave ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Girl,
    I haven’t spoken with you in ages, did you fall off the planet or have I been a bad follower & not keeping up with your post!?! – this could be possible and I apologize. Your page is beautiful though! I adore it ๐Ÿ˜€ not to mention this post was very well written and inspiring to say the least. You are a natural when it comes to blogging, it is no wonder why you have so many people who enjoy your content! proud of you!

    Shay-lon

    1. Shay-lon!
      So good to hear from you! I definitely fell off of the planet… Haaa finals will do that to you! I’m hoping to get back into blogging pretty soon though. I saw on Instagram that you’re still keeping up with everything, you go girl! You inspire me.

      1. Ahaha! okay good! I was starting to worry that I am becoming a bad follower >.< Yikes. I am glad you are putting your finals first, I am slowly having to teach myself that I need to do the same thing when it comes to studying (because the blog will always be here) but it can be difficult for me.
        Yes, I appreciate your follow back on Instagram, I am trying to keep things at a good pace,it has been overwhelming but at the same time, I am coming along in my body image progress, thank you for being supportive! I plan to continue to stalk your instagram! hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Awesome tips!! Communication is DEFINITELY key in all areas of life. Unfortunately, not everyone is good at it — myself included. I’m still learning to be a better communicator and these tips are definitely useful. Thanks for sharing! x

    Valerie // avecvalerie.com

  4. I love this! I’m always into reading books that help with personal development. I heard How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a great book. I just downloaded it on my kindle. Great review! I’m not sure if I’ll get through your next book pick because I just started Lilly Singh’s book How to Be Bawse. I just followed you on FB and Instagram because I may hop on the the next book. Nice to meet you. I’m LDS too ;).

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