For the past three months, my husband and I have been living on opposite ends of the country. He’s been in Provo, Utah pursuing his law degree and I’ve been in Westminster, Maryland helping my family through a rough patch.
After spending these three months apart, we wanted to put together a list of things we’ve learned and observed. Every couple in this situation has a different set of experiences and personalities, so if something we say here is different than what you experienced, feel free to share your long-distance story in the comments!
Spending money. Turns out, we don’t spend as much money when we’re apart. We were both living with our families so that cut down significantly on rent. We also didn’t need to buy groceries or pay for internet, heating, or electricity. Our gas payments also went down because my husband was able to find rides to school. Hooray for saving money!
Assumptions. This was one of the strangest observations we found. It turns out that people will assume you’re divorced or “going through something” if you’re not living with your significant other. We just decided to have a good sense of humor about this one and not worry about it too much.
Technology. Technology is a blessing and a curse. We were only able to Skype two or three times because of technology issues. This was frustrating because sometimes I just needed to see my man!
Independence. I feel like I’ve become more independent through this experience. It has given me some time to explore things a bit on my own (mostly because I had to). I love hanging out with my husband and doing things with him, and it was cool to feel his support for my personal development from so far away.
Sleeping Habits. I learned that my body covers the entire bed if someone isn’t there with me. I don’t sleep any better alone, just roll around the bed more. Interesting phenomenon.
Readjustment. I was concerned that it would be difficult to get back into the swing of things after spending so much time apart. Fortunately, it only felt different in a good way once we were back together. I wonder if that would have been harder though if we had either been apart longer or had been married for less time (we’ve been married for two years).
Technology. I guess we both learned that technology is still imperfect. Too many dropped phone calls to count. We found that Facebook messenger was pretty great though.
Hugs. I learned that I can really miss a good hug. Though a phone call can make me not feel so far away, sometimes it just doesn’t quite cut it.
Ultimately, we both thought that our time apart was good for us even though it was difficult. The experience made us both more grateful for our marriage and the life we’ve built together.